I woke up this morning and the first thing on my mind was the same thing that was on my mind before I went to bed—relocating to Atlanta. If you didn’t read my previous post, check out The Road Ahead to find out why moving is so significant for me. Since I last posted, word got around my job about me leaving. My coworkers have shown mad love and support, even though some say I can’t leave. It’s out and it’s all good though, right? Think again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful, excited, and I’m anticipating good things for the future. Praise Jesus!!
My challenge, however, is that there are LOTS of details left out of the equation. Where will we live? What about school for Milo? Where will I work? Will I work from home? When will Gabby’s transfer kick in? Will my new grandbaby be born here or in Georgia? Questions, questions, questions. How did I handle them? Why I did what any calm trusting person would do. Not! I began looking into private schools, scholarships, homeschooling options, jobs, etc. I started gathering boxes, packing things we don’t use often, all without a moving date, all in the name of faith. I thought I was handling faith and patience well. Anxiety, however, was lurking in a dark corner of my mind like a burglar, watching my every move, waiting for his opportunity to strike. As more people learned of my plans and interjected their thoughts, fears, and opinions, that sneaky crook got bold, snatched off his mask, and started running roughshod through my belongings. Before I knew it, I was a wreck with worry.
I don’t blame the people though. People are people. I don’t even blame myself. Self-inflicted criticism is harmful. Nevertheless, I have to make an honest assessment of the situation to see where things went awry. Upon examination, I spotted a pattern, a familiar one. I had begun filling in the gaps of uncertainty that God intentionally left vacant. Those gaps were intended for my faith and trust to grow. Have you ever seen a farmer plant certain seeds in the ground? He purposely spaces the seeds apart in order for the plant to grow to their full capacity. Crowding can hinder the plants from getting enough light, stunting their growth.
Faith and trust thrive on uncertainty. As God’s shines His light, our roots of faith and trust dig deeper into His rich soil, absorbing all the nutrients that our spirits need, so that we can experience the peace that surpasses the uncertainties of our situation. Philippians 4:6-7 NLT says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Anxiety (worry) is a burglar and prayers are the police.
Prayers arrests those worries that rob the mind of nourishment (peace).
So now that I’ve found the answers, do I unpack? Do I stop seeking an apartment, job, scholarships for Milo, and all the other pre-move plans? No. Not at all. You see, I know myself and God knows me too. I won’t pack up my whole house and live out of boxes until moving day like I did four years ago. Instead, I will continue to discard old clothes, papers, and things I don’t need. That’s healthy. I will enjoy purging the past while anticipating the future. As for Milo’s education, I’m looking forward to homeschooling my grandchildren, if need be. I’ve talked to several teachers that have offered their support. I even found a bunch of donated school materials that would be helpful to all my grandbabies. And I’m doing a whole lot of praying.
One thing that I am super excited about is the revamping of my bath and beauty business, ReNuMe Organic Essentials. I kept praying about how I would earn income, and God pointed me in the direction of what I had already established. With my children’s book pending publication in May 2017, ReNuMe, and school, I really don’t have time to worry about Atlanta. My oldest daughter, Gabby, reminded me of that yesterday. She asked me why I was so anxious and I couldn’t give her a good reason. She blessed me by saying, “Ma, my job is going to transfer at the right time. We’re going to move when it’s the right time. It’s not the right time now because we’re not ready. So stop worrying.” She was right. Milo is still in school and I have some unfinished business here. I’ve been asking God to open the door in June, and I believe that He will. Even if He has other plans, now is not the time for worrying; now is the time for planting.
What are you anxious about? How did you get there? What can you do about your situation today that will give you peace of mind?